i remember
holding my dads hand as a kid
he was my reason to be the best i could
so i tried to hold his hand the best i can
but they were so big and beautiful
these real fat fingers
so he would hold me by the wrist
and when i got big enough to hold him
on finger, then two, it was an accomplishment
by the time i was grown
big enough to be called a man
he was taken from me
in an argument
with his brothers
he ran ahead in the street
not paying attention in his anger
he forget where he was
and big as i was
i wasnt there to hold his hand
the night before
he had told me he was a survivor
and not to worry about him
and now
just seeing my moms face
when it collapsed on the phone
i new only one thing could destroy her beauty so thoroughly
what happened i asked?
im sorry benny she said
no i said no
cuz i knew
he told me two nights before
he was a survivor
dont worry about me benny
he said
im a survivor
but then last night he fought with his brothers
and forgot where he was
if only i had been there
instead of him running from his brothers
i could have held his whole hand
life is too
and too dangerous
to do anything but love the ones we love
hold their hand
while you can
best you can
even one finger at a time