i would say, you’ve brought my attention to two very important things,
two facts, two details concerning my current state of being
those two things are as follows
first you have made me aware that i have not been myself
i have nOt had that weilded that edge, that enthusiasm, that gusto, that makes me do the things i do
i do not swing the sharp blade of my mind or the sword of my tongue as i did when i was young
i dont shout pain or whisper my affections
i dont love the things i love
the way i once did
i dont make the choices i used to make
i dont enjoy the things i used to enjoy
i dont have confidence in my choices or decisions
i am not of any determination to exert my perspectives upon the world
i dont say the things i used to say
i dont think the things i used to think
i dont make the jokes i used to make
or write the the things i used write,
so the first thing you taught me is that the person i used to be
im not me anymore
and the second thing you taught me
is why