How to change lanes while driving in Miami
1. Hide all paraphernalia just in case
2. Use turn signal or don’t cuz no one else does and they will just take it as a challenge and play chicken to see who flinches first
3. Honk aggressively to inform the tenacious bastard desperately in love with clinging to camping in your blind spot that its time to let go or repercussions will be severe
4. Lean half your body out the window and endure the stinging scorch of the sun or the wet thundering monsoon while you point waving toward the direction you want to go
5. extend your middle finger and scream
“Oh ye – ee hoe Pooh tah – seen vere when za – seen gow – meh cageh en sue madereh”
This means excuse me in the native togue
6. gently hurl your cortatido, colada, Red Bull or monster energy at the nearest windshield
7. Gun your engine and politely switch over before they have time to pull an actual gun on your exposed head and upper body
8. Hit the breaks and reduce speed 75% so you’re only ten miles over the limit
9. Give the thumbs up and then refrain from any further provocation such as eye contact
10. Call your spouse, parents, and plug and let them know you’re ok
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