pictures from the DMV
broccoli stuck between your teeth
getting a boner the moment you meet
a girl you know would rather leave
everything’s embarrassing
when somebody makes more money than me
when someone’s car cost mine times three
when some hot girl gives me VD
everything’s embarrassing
all the cheap fast food I eat
how I look like I sleep in the street
when I smoke weed in the morning
everything’s embarrassing
how hot my girlfriend used to be
how often she used to have sex with me
when I chill on the couch for day fifteen
everything’s embarrassing
when I forget to wash my mouth
when my mom’s girlfriend throws me out
when my private secrets are screamed out loud
and I fall down drunk in the middle of a crowd
who lets me lay there on the ground
with pee and vomit all flowing around
and leave me right there to be found
making gurgling blurbs and vomitous sounds
being laughed at like a clown
with a painted face and a dunce cap crown
feeling like a pound of ground chuck round
when it comes to awkward
I am king!
Everything’s embarrassing!
Did I mention how badly I sing?
Everythings embarrassing
I’ll give you my number but my phone never rings
everything’s embarrassing
choking on the bones of chicken wings
Everything’s Embarrassing
when the pool shrinks
my dingaling
when girls discuss
how disgusting
it must be
to make love to me
I don’t worry
no, I don’t weep
I am not in a hurry to heed
the ramifications of every deed
I don’t let it get to my head
cuz if I cared at all
I’d just drop dead
so I don’t blush
I don’t bother turning red
I just don’t give a fuck instead
you eventually
get used to the sting
everything’s embarrassing